Where my mind and heart have been lately... 11/29/2011
I don't know about you, but this Mercury Retrograde is kicking my ass.
The first few days were super strong for me and now I think I found my calm in the storm - we shall see.
I hope you are finding peace within your own experiences of this jumbled time.
As you may be able to tell my presence on this site has been slightly absent. I have many things brewing over here and sometimes I seem to get lost in the creation of it all.
Right now, my heart is mainly residing in the creation and preparation for the launch of The Goddess Life. If you're not on our newsletter, sign up here.
Believe me, you'll want to be a part of what's going on over there. So far I have prizes and freebies from over 10 ladies on the web including... Mali and Joe of The Soulmate Experience, Jenn Gibson from Roots of She, Lisa Carmen of SacredSexyU, Many of our Guides are giving away their own services and products and so much more!
That isn't even half of the greatness that we have going on.
To stay in the loop of The Goddess Life and for a chance to win some of the kick-ass prizes we have in store, all you have to do is subscribe.
Just a few more days left to register for Transform-able! Let's shed the layers that are no longer serving us before 2012 reaches our door-steps. Together, we can be a real cause for transformation in your life.
If you have questions, please feel free to email me at MeganMoniqueSparkles@gmail.com. Talk to you soon!
Relationships 101: Assumptions Kill The Love 11/22/2011
It's been a while since I have written a relationships 101 post. I suppose I've had other things on my mind.
Last night The Mister and I had a video Skype chat (he's out of town).
It wasn't romantic although parts of it were sweet. It was, however, heartfelt, honest and kind of brutal at times.
We have been together for a little over 3 years now. We got married in June 2011 - it was the most magical day of my life.
I forget sometimes, that I don't know everything about him.
I act like I know what he is thinking by an expression on his face that then provokes a reaction from within me. And yes, sometimes those assumptions are correct, but sometimes they aren't.
When my assumptions are incorrect a disconnect occurs in our communication.
I get angry and righteous. He gets irritated and righteous. And then, life becomes not so magical and a great big pain in my butt. In our butts.
If our (3 hour) conversation last night taught me anything it was that there is still a lot to learn about my husband.
I don't know everything and generally, my assumptions are incorrect. Especially during Mercury Retrograde.
There is a habit The Mister has of coming into my office while I am working and asking me "What are you doing?” - nine times out of ten I reply "I'm on the computer."
It was my irritating answer to an irritating question.
Only, from his perspective, he wasn't asking me that to be irritating. It was his way of asking whether or not I had time in my day for him.
My assumption lead me to believe he was moving from a space of carelessness about the work that I do, when in all actuality, he was moving from a space of love. Of wanting to share his love with me.
Needless to say I took a moment on the call last night to feel like a total Bitch.
I still kind of feel that way this morning.
But the brighter side of things is that question that so often ruined my "in the zone" moment while working will now shine a light on my day.
No longer will I hear an irritating question. Instead, I will hear, "hey babe, I love you."
And that will make all the difference.
I invite you to look at your relationships. Where are you making assumptions about others thoughts or actions? What effect is it having on you?
I have a whole library of Relationship 101 posts if you feel your relationships need some polishing.
If you feel you need a more intimate, one on one experience of relationship renewal, check out my Soul Sessions.
Also, when you subscribe to my mailing list, you get a free guided meditation that allows you to communicate with a chosen person and clear the air in meditation. Try it out!
On Friday night, I took the stage for the first time in my life.
At about 9:00pm I was standing at the bottom of the stage steps with my eyes closed, taking deep breathes.
It was almost show time and I was the first Burlesque dancer to perform.
The stage kittens were rubbing my back, holding my hands telling me I was going to be amazing and that it was my time to shine.
I was beyond capable and they believed in me.
Before I knew it, Miss Violet O'Hara made the announcement...
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage Miss Foxx E. Licious!"
I walked up the steps, put a smile on my face, got a swing in my step and took my place on stage.
The red glitter on my lips, sparkling in the stage lights made me feel like I was the most gorgeous woman in the room. The mirror check I had before I got on stage assured me I was having a great butt day. It might of just been the fishnets. >smiles<
I knew the audience was out there, although, I could only see the first few rows of an almost sold out show. Near 200 people were sitting in front of me. Cheering. Anxiously awaiting my performance.
The music came on and I started moving how I had rehearsed, only this time it was different.
My nerves were calm. I wasn't scared, I was empowered. I wasn't doubtful, I was confident.
In that moment, I belonged on stage. It was mine and no one else's.
With each slip of the glove, stroke of my leg, each shimmy in my hip - the crowd went wild. (Although, looking back, It's not the cheering I remember from being up there.)
What I remember most is how happy I was to be performing. I was happy to be putting on show for people who PAID good money to come and see me dance.
To come and see me Bust-Out!
When my performance ended. I didn't rush off stage. I stood there next to Violet O'Hara in my pasties, fishnets and boa smiling. We didn't say anything to one another, but our gaze was a heart-felt, "wasn't that AMAZING Soul Sister? You did great"
And I did. It was awe-mazing.
To be continued....
If you live in the Dallas area and are interested in having a Burlesque Experience of your own, click here to find out how you can be a member of January's group of gals!
I assure you, it will be the time of your life.
To stay in the loop on the rest of my burlesque story which will be coming soon, be sure to subscribe to my blog. Mailings go out every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday with the occasional post on the weekends.
Well, it's here. At least, tomorrow it will be. November 18th has crept up on me like a cat stalking a squirrel.
Tomorrow I will performing my first official Burlesque performance on a stage in front of about 200 other people.
Even as I am typing this it's just a little bit harder for me to breathe.
I have rehearsed my routine too many times to count. I know my musical cues. I have my hair and makeup scheduled. My costume is complete.
There's nothing left to do but wait with this adrenaline pumping through my body like a steam train going full force down the tracks.
Will my dance be great? Will I be as good as the other girls? Will the audience like me? Will I trip and fall on stage? Will I fall OFF the stage?! Will my pastie stay on? Will I forget my dance moves? Will my costume malfunction? Will I be brave enough to perform at my best? Will my shyness kick in? Can I really do this?
All of these things + adrenaline. It's a lot.
But, much like life, all I can do is prepare myself as much as possible (and I have) and be present in that moment of my performance, using the tools I gained over these last 7 weeks.
Wish me luck!
PS. If you live in the Dallas area and would like to come to the show this Friday (tomorrow) you can purchase tickets and find out the details here. You can also purchase them at the door, but there is no guarantee. Our last two shows were sold out.
Oh ya, my Mom is gay too. 11/12/2011
I think it was about a year after I found out my Dad was gay that my Mom moved to Austin. She had just gotten out of a relationship and I suppose she felt the need to flee.
I was resentful about it at the time, but I can see now that she felt it was the best thing she could possibly do for herself.
My sister and I continued to visit her just about every other weekend while she lived there.
There was one weekend when we went jet skiing with one of my Mom's new friends she had met at work.
She was lovely, gorgeous, fun - they were her jet skis after all.
I remember noticing that day how my Mom interacted with her friend. It stood out to me. It was flirtatious. It was how I acted when I liked someone at school.
That was when my suspicion started.
I don't remember how much time had past to when I was back at home with my Dad. Back then, I had my own phone line with a cordless phone and my Dad had his.
Sometimes the lines interfered and you could hear the conversations of one phone on the other. It was unpredictable and completely random.
At one point, I accidentally over heard a very small snippet of a conversation between my Dad and Mom.
After that, I knew my assumptions were correct. My Mom was dating this woman we had met a few weeks prior.
When my Mom found out that I had over heard their phone call she got very defensive.
I suppose it didn't occur to her at the time that the interference was an accident.
I can see now that her defensiveness was in the fear of what I would think of her. (Especially after my reaction to my Father's coming out.)
But I don't remember being that surprised really. After all, if I can accept one parent being gay, why not the other?
One day, a very long while after all of this happened, probably even 2 or so years after. My Mom had moved back to the DFW area and we were taking a trip to Austin together to visit her now X-girlfriend (the lady we went jet skiing with) and her son.
Mind you, between the interfering phone call and this trip there was never any talk between the two of us about her alleged lesbianism.
I worked up the courage to ask my Mom if she was, in fact, gay.
I remember her response being something along the lines of what she does in her personal life is her business and if she wanted me to know she would tell me.
It was clear she was still scared of what I would think, of what others would think - of actually coming out and claiming her lesbianism.
Looking back now, I can't blame her. I can't imagine what it must be like to rise against "the norm" when there was already so much about herself she didn't understand.
I remember being frustrated. I felt like she didn't trust me enough to tell me and above all else, she was so eager to share the truth about my Dad with me, when he might of not been ready to so.
It just didn't seem fair.
To be continued....
Your Call To Action
Holidays with Heart is just a couple weeks away. If you are feeling stuck in your heart center, closed off to the magic of the Holidays or needing more love in your life this course is for you. Fo real.
Lots of juiciness, lots of one on one with you and me, community, celebration, meditation and LOVE.
11:11:11, I love you dearly 11/11/2011
I would feel so silly if I didn't take the time to write
a short love note today (it being 11-11-11 and all).
Life never tasted so sweet, felt so soft and inspired so much
passion, grace and integrity before.
I am grateful for the opportunity to be AWAKE in this moment,
to be ALIVE in this moment and to share it with those I hold so dear.
My journey is only just beginning and I can feel the power growing beneath my feet.
In this moment I am confident of my love for the Universe
and I know that The Universe, well, it loves me too.
Cheers to a year of our GREATEST adventures yet.
Photo by Dee Hill
Your Call to Action
Did you hear about my latest course? Holidays with Heart begins December 5th and there are only 3 spots left. Hop on this gravy train now to be a part of the JOY this Holiday Season. (But it's really about a lot more than that.)
If you like what you read here, then go on and subscribe to my mailing love list - it goes out every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Thanks, ya'll!
Hello, My name is Megan and my Dad is gay. 11/09/2011
Yesterday I mentioned I was working on my backstory as part of my work with Tara Gentile and by suggestion of Lori-Lyn, remember? Here's the first piece. Be gentle with me.
I was always a Daddy's Girl growing up. My parents got divorced around the time that I was 9 and my sister, Sara and I lived with him (our Father) from then on.
There might of been a year or so in between my parents getting a divorce and us moving to Lancaster to live with our Dad, but I don't remember that time at all.
My sister and I were lucky. Even though our parents got divorced they still got along rather well. It made the transition easier for me.
When I was about 14 or 15 my Dad was working late and we were at home (my Mom visiting us,) watching Lifetime (she is a Lifetime addict) and I believe, coloring. The Lifetime movie we happened to be watching was about a man cheating on his wife with another man. He lived two lives.
I remember the Dad from 7th Heaven in it, he was playing the cheating, gay man.
Anyway, my Mom looks over at me and she says "Megan, what if your Dad was that way?" I said "what way?!" She said, "Megan, what if your Dad was gay?" I remember starring at her with a shocked look on my face and then shaking my head, giggling nervously and saying "no, your lying." And then my Mom said, "Megan, yes."
I think it was about that point that I burst into tears and ran over to her to have a hug. I felt so devastated.
A little while after my tears had calmed and I had settled down a bit my Dad came home.
I remember walking into the kitchen where he was and looking at him. He knew I was angry. I don't remember if I said anything to him at that point or not. I don't remember if he said anything to me either.
I do remember, however, the anger I felt at the situation.
I didn't really care about the fact that my Dad was gay, all though those conversations took a little bit longer to adjust to. I was just so angry that I was lied to. This man that I had adored and cherished daily had been lying to me so extravagantly for more than 5 years.
Now that I'm older I know that my Mom must have gone through a simliar experience of betrayal and pain. I realize now that my parents couldn't have possibly told me any sooner than they did. I wouldn't have understood the capcity of the situation.
The reason that my parents got divorced was not only because my Dad cheated on my Mom, like I had once thought, it was because my Dad cheated on my Mom with another man.
To be continued...
Your Call to Action
Want to skip ahead and find out more about what I've done recently? Check out my Resume and Soul Sessions.
If you'd like to receive regular email updates on my latest blog posts, videos and online courses, subscribe here.
I have a new course that will be starting in December. Lots of one on one time, resources, healing, opening and LOVING. To find out more send me an email MeganMoniqueSparkles@gmail.com
They say miracles are past. -William Shakespeare
I don't remember the last time I took a course and felt this drawn to all of its juicyness.
I can't seem to get Tara's thoughts and ideas out of my head. I keep going over my notes and her notes. Today I plan on listening to the call recording again to see what else I can get out of her genius.
The morsel I have been chewing on this morning is my backstory.
It is one of our assignments in Tara's course to get really clear about our backstory and communicate it to our readers (you).
In addition to that, I had a reading from Lori-Lyn and she just so happened to speak of my backstory as well without knowing where I was at in Tara's course.
Coincidence? I think not.
"I feel that within this realm - communicating your story - there's a place where you've been holding back. Think about things that have come to you, thoughts you've had, visions, etc. that you may have dismissed because they seemed impossible or even a little scary in some way. I believe your answer is there - the freedom that comes from stretching outward in truth."
The part of my story I have been holding back is my past.
I have no problem talking about the trials and tribulations I experience now a days.
But the storys of my past I don't bring up because, well, they are in the past.
However, after many signs from The Universe, including what Lori-Lyn shared above and the course work with Tara Gentile I think it's time to start digging into those memories so you have a better idea where I had to come from to get where I am now.
The question is, where do I begin?
Your Call to Action
Are you feeling a need to release some of your backstory in order to have more of a clear present? Let's work together, check out my Soul Sessions.
If you'd like to receive juicy email updates featuring blog posts and upcoming courses subscribe here.
What is whispering in your wind? 11/08/2011
I’m standing on the shoreline, my toes being caressed by the ocean water, my skin exfoliated from the sand. I can hear my heart. Boom. Boom. Boom.
I close my eyes, spread my arms wide open, I smile and tears begin to stream down my face. My body, mind and spirit are cleansed by the rays of the sun.
Crash. Another wave reaches the shoreline. Boom. My heart continues to beat. Ahhh. Breath continues to flow and in this moment I am purely grateful for existing without struggle or pain.
In this moment, my brilliance is effortless. My inner light beams with radiance. My mind is calm and I am here. Present. Now.
What happens when you allow your imagination to run wild in this moment? Where does it take you? How do you feel? What is your experience? What is the wind whispering?
If you choose to read this entire post, thank you. It is very rare that I write in such length. But when a breakthrough comes, it comes. And is very welcomed.
Photo Source: Imajen Art
What is spirituality?
Some call it faith; some call it religion (and all its many sub-categories), belief, hope or ideology. No matter the lingo, it’s all the same to me.
Believing in something bigger than you.
Knowing that there is something out there connecting us all together, encouraging us to love more fully, give more freely and trust with your whole-heart.
That is spirituality. This Force lives in our lives on a daily basis whether we choose to acknowledge its presence or not. Whether we believe or not, the force lives, breathes, thrives, even. All around us, everywhere. Now.
What happens when we embrace our unique spirituality?
When you embrace your spirituality Source Energy (that Force I mentioned and described above) goes from meeting you half way there to 100% of the way there.
It hears your passion rising, calling for more and does anything and everything to get you where you want to go.
Healing wounds, forgiving grudges, shining light on places that were once in shadows, mountains are moved, people dismissed, miracles take place – seriously.
There is no end to what is possible in our lives when we begin to embrace the light.
What happens when we don’t embrace spirituality in our lives?
When there is a gap in our lives where spirituality is suppose to be, unforgiveness creeps in.We very quickly become our own worst enemy. Feeling guilty for what we did or didn’t do. Holding on to failures, past successes too tightly. Allowing our choices to be influenced by others. Feeling as though you are a puppet in your own life. A robot set on automatic. Moving with glue stuck to the bottom of your feet from one event to the next.
Lack of passion, desire, momentum, connection and love. Frankly, it sucks.
How do you mend this connection and embrace your unique spirituality?
The great news is, there are millions and trillions of ways you can mend your connection to spirit. If you can find ways to connect with your joy on a miniscule level, taking it bigger and bigger, you’ll have found your connection.
There is no right or wrong way to connect.
Each person is very different. For me, writing, reading and meditating are amazing ways to keep in touch with my own Spirituality. For you it might be hiking, eating green foods or through being with animals.
Like I said, the possibilities are endless.
Why am I talking about this? Isn't it obvious? My work with Tara Gentile has lead me to this new place of accepting what I am here to teach, connection.
I've resisted it for so very long. Thinking it wasn't okay to teach people this thing. That it turned ladies off. But the reality of it is that my entire journey revolves around making that connection and using it to create the life I love.
I have a gift. I can help bring you closer to your light. Nurturing that bond. Celebrating it. Challenging it. Teaching you and giving you the sacred space to heal and dance.
PS. I'm working on a group course right now 4 women, 4 weeks. More coming soon. Stay tuned to find out more. Email me now if you are interested in pre-registering.
This will send you a fresh copy of my blog every time I write a new post and update you on special offers.