About once every 3 months or so, I have an emotional tidal wave that shows up.
It's just how my spirit works. It's my cycle.
That doesn't mean I don't get sad when unfortunate things happen. Or happy when joyous things occur.
But for some reason during that moment every three months or so I am extra sensitive, more vulnerable and incredibly honest. (I'm not talking about PMS here, folks. This is bigger.)
My last "experience" was just a few days ago.
I was sitting in the dining room at Lacy's house and read this comment from a friend on my blog post....
I know that you know I read your blog all the time but I never leave any comments! I just think them in my head and go along with my day...But for this I had to comment! I have never been so excited for a baby to be born! I can't wait to meet this little awesome bundle of a miracle and be a part of her/his life! Im so glad I'm a part of yours! I love you bestie! <3
and I started BAWLING. Hysterically. With noises and snot - I mean, the whole works.
Luckily I was there alone (aside from the pooches) so I just let myself carry on. Sometimes you just need to get it all out.
At one point, I remember thinking - "why are you crying like this?"
The answer came to me in a flash.
I was mourning.
Don't get me wrong.
The Mister and I are more than thrilled to be having this little one.
I know it will be a powerful, joyous, love-filled spirit put here to play a big role in the world.
But I'm also a little scared and sad.
My whole, life, my only priority has only ever been my own happiness.
But now, my needs and wants (to some degree) will be taking the back seat to this wee one.
I know I will find my own kind of balance, but it's still scary.
Will I lose my wild, entrepreneurial side?
Will I still be driven in my business and personal evolution?
Will my relationship with The Mister still be as amazing as it is now?
So ya, I'm mourning a bit.
Mourning the way things have been. Who I have been. Who we have been as a couple.
I have no doubt that everything will fall into it's own lovely space, just as it should.
But the mourning is still necessary.
After-all, it's okay to be sad about change. But it's important to remember we have no idea the miracles and beauty that lie ahead.
And boy oh boy, are they something to be celebrated! Known and unknown.
Feel Beneath No One 12/28/2011
To acquire true self power you have to feel beneath no one, be immune to criticism and be fearless. ― Deepak Chopra
That quote from dearest Deepak scares me a little bit. I think about what I want to accomplish in my lifetime and to be quite honest, I'm unsure.
I mean, of course a book deal with Hay House sounds delicious - but is that really what I want?
Sometimes it's hard to see with a clear mind for myself with all of the amazing people I follow online. I see the things they are doing and I feel a little jealousy arise within me. I take that for acknowledgment of something that I want.
But I don't want to do it the way they've done it. In fact, that would be kind of impossible. I want to do it in truth to my own values and worth. My own life experiences.
But the thought of that leaves me unclear.
In 2012 I want to spend more time with myself. Especially in these first 6 months before the baby is born. I want to read more and question myself more. I want to get down to a very clean and clear level of what it is that I want for my life.
I don't really need a plan - I like to fly by the seat of The Universe, that way. But I never really take the time to ask myself, "hey Megan, what do you want sister?"
Loads of Love,
Photo Taken By Alyson Chapman
I am looking forward to another year of sparkling, warm clients who are ready to light their lives up!
If you are one of these people, be sure to check out my Soul Sessions - they're source connection waiting to happen.
You are here for a reason. ― Deepak Chopra
There's a bun in my oven... 12/26/2011
In January of this year I got the call that it was time for me to be a Mom in 2012.
The idea of it was scary. Before I got the call, I was completely unsure that I even wanted kids. I didn't know for sure if I wanted to be married either. (Not that you have to be married to have kids, but it was something I wanted.)
As time rolled on and I accepted the call - The Mister and I tied the knot on June 11, 2011 at A Day Away Retreat in Boyd, Texas. It was The Most Magical Day of My Life. I couldn't have asked for a better wedding or a supportive group of people to celebrate it with.
After that, The Mister and I started trying, but not trying to get pregnant. It just wasn't happening. So I decided to surrender and trust that my 2012 baby would arrive just when it (although, I think, she) was suppose to.
And just like that, 3 or so weeks ago, I found out I had a bun in the oven.
Being pregnant hasn't been easy for me. I've never really been sick so not having a lot of energy and experience constant nausea has been quite the adjustment for me.
I was even kind of angry with myself for feeling like crap for a while.
I couldn't do the work I wanted to do. My house was a mess. I felt a lot less than chipper and on top of all that, since we hadn't shared the news with our families, I couldn't write about it here.
Which is hands down, my most ultimate therapy.
But things are getting better. Our families know. I can write about this bundle of joy, frustration, love and nausea all I please. And the sickness does seem to be subsiding a bit.
It's an adjustment. A big one. But a welcomed one.
Holding on for the ride,
Peace, Happiness, God + Love 12/19/2011
If you want something, go after it.
Tell fear to fuck off. It's just an idea anyway. An idea that's not working.
Meditation will bring you peace.
So will journaling.
Laughter will bring you and those around you joy.
So will hugs. Lots and lots of hugs.
Loving yourself is the easiest way to connect with God.
Loving God is the easiest way to bring greatness into your life.
Anything that makes your body, mind and/or spirit happy will bring you closer to God.
Just start doing something today.
The size of the something doesn't matter.
Believe in yourself.
Believe in others.
Don't give up.
If something isn't working, try something new.
Stop wasting your time with logic.
Allow yourself to feel deeper than you've ever felt before.
Imagine for a moment that you found your spark.
It was hiding in a cave somewhere, buried under some old boxes, things and well, lots of other stuff.
You found it, your spark.
And then it was gone. You found it again, and then it was gone. Here. Gone. Here. Gone. Here. Gone!
My Christmas Miracle 12/12/2011
This past week or so I have felt beyond stuck, especially in the financial sense.
I started looking for part-time work. I went on interviews.
The usual signs from the Universe weren't showing up for me.
Late last night I got out my computer to answer some emails and decided to message my friend, Kate Buck Jr.
I've worked for Kate before as a Virtual Assistant, but we met long before that when I lived in Austin.
Although I haven't been there every step of the way, I have watched Kate build her business from the ground up.
I've seen how much sweat and blood and tears and joy she has put into its creation.
And I have seen the gold that was produced because of it.
During our short 20 minute conversation of me asking questions about what I could be doing better, where my head should be in the game and figuring out what element I was missing that kept me playing such a small game..
- the fog began to lift and miracles were raining down upon me.
Our landlord text messaged me and told me they were dissolving the our late fees from what had accumulated to over $1,000 to only $200.
And shortly after that, I got hired to design someone's website!
It was truly a Christmas miracle.
This conversation I had with Kate was what I did to turn my boat downstream.
To release resistance and get back in the flow.
The miracles that followed my conversation, were the affirmation I needed to say, "hey - you're back on the right track now."
Knowing others is Wisdom,
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