June Twelfth Two Thousand & Ten 06/12/2010
There have been a few different blog posts circulating in my head lately, but I am going to write about the one that is most constant in my life and that, would be the topic of how I feel about my body.
This is the heaviest I have ever been (with the exception of 10 extra pounds.) I have been saying that now going on for two years. Since December of 2008 when I realized I was incredibly uncomfortable with myself, I have done little to nothing to try and improve my situation. Sure there were weeks of extra effort to exercise and eat well. But the excitement of turning my diet around soon fades when that beer and taco are placed in front of me.
The truth is I don't really know how to successfully change my weight. Everyday I am disgusted by the way that I look, how my pants fit and how lazy I am at making an effort to change things. I suppose the upside to it all is that I haven't gone up in weight in over a year. Some would consider that a success. If I were counting little victories, I suppose I would to.
When I think self-care in terms of other people, if I were the support for a friend losing weight, I would shower them with love and celebration. Whether it be making the effort to go for a 15 minutes walk one day or losing percentages of a pound the next- I would be cheering them on. So why don't I choose to do that with myself.
I have been reading You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and she believes that at the root of an situation that is not serving you is a lack of self love. I believe this is true as well. A while ago, on another blog I started and abandoned, I wrote about a journey of 30 days of self love that I was going to commit to and see how it went. That journey lasted a grand total of 2 days and ended in frustration.
These are the photos from "Ode to My Arms" that never got published. (Thanks @SteviLoren)
I am here today because I have decided that I will begin again, my 30 days of self-love to nuture my body, mind and spirit and see where it takes me. I have tried everything else, why not love? It is what I am all about anyways, right?
So here is stands, Monday, June 14, 2010 I will begin a journey of 30 days of self love and will write about it- right here. Wish me luck!
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