Vulnerability. A word most of us are familiar with and often avoid experiencing.
Lately, Brawn has been out of town for the greater half of the week. Unfortunately I have become accustom to being by myself, only picking up after myself, only doing what I want to do and on a another level, only letting myself feel what I want to feel.
When Brawn comes back into town, it is a bumpy transition for me to flip my "on" switch and be an open flowing vessel again.
Vulnerability can be scary. I didn't notice until this weekend that I put my walls up while he is gone. At the time, I though it was easier to not worry about where he is, when he is going to call me, what he is doing or not doing, how much he is drinking, spending or living it up. Why should I worry about that anyway? Whatever is going to happen will happen whether my guard is up or not.
When he comes back home, I find myself closed. I feel cold and distant, not at all open to what our relationship really has to offer.
On Sunday I asked the Twitterverse, "is staying in the space of being vulnerable difficult for you?" and you replied:
@jilianrayne: Yes very! I'm learning w/ my husband but I hate the process.
@reigniteromance: Not difficult so to speak, just uncomfortable.
I agree, @reigniteromance. It is uncomfortable. But why and how is it holding us back in other areas of our lives. Think about it. If there is one part of our life where we refuse to be vulnerable and in my case it is when Brawn is gone and for a short while of when he comes back, there has to be other parts of our lives where we are blocking the flow.
What would happen if we stepped into that discomfort and really lived in it?
What would that look like for you? What might it open up in our relationships? Not only with others, but ourselves as well?
Opening the Door to Being Vulnerable,
PS. Be sure to check out this weeks recipe, Chicken Tortilla Soup!
This will send you a fresh copy of my blog every time I write a new post and update you on special offers.