Megan Monique
 
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Photo From My Crafting Sunday
I am tired of hiding behind my computer screen. I have been honest with where I am at, but not completely transparent or vulnerable.

After my intuitive reading yesterday with Lori-Lyn I felt soft, safe, watched over & empowered. I felt more in touch with my feminine energy than my masculine; which was a change from the past week.

After the house I am renting went into foreclosure & the decision was made that Owning Pink & I would go our separate ways (financially,) I moved into my masculine energy.

I got bitchy. Tough. Irritable. I held everything inside until I couldn't anymore.

Last Saturday & Sunday I had a Landmark Education course that I was attending. I never made it to Sunday.

By dinner on Saturday night, I felt as though my cup was more than over flowing- it was flooding everything around me.

I decided to leave the course (not so easy for me to do.) I drove home & got vulnerable. I got honest with a good friend who would listen to me cry. I hugged Brawn & I got pissed off.

It was the first time I had allowed myself to be angry over the situation. The first time I was able to say, 'yes- I know that all of this is happening so that something better can come my way. I trust that. However- THIS STILL FUCKING SUCKS!'

Residing in positive thinking is beautiful. It allows you to see the light in everything. BUT, it is still important to really FEEL & express all of the shadows that exist within.

Releasing those fears is the easiest way to rid yourself of them completely. & conversation is one of the best methods of cleansing.

Yesterday Brawn & I drove up & down every street in Ennis looking at houses for rent. I have a good idea of what I want & what I don’t want now.

The amount of time we have to move out of this house is still up in the air & from what I understand- my landlord is still trying to ‘fix it.’ But today is the day of foreclosure- we shall see.

But something tells me I need to take matters into my own hands & move to a location where the security & state of being is at its best.

In A Place Of Complete Honesty,
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Comments

Kim Jenkins link
12/07/2010 9:46am

Ahhh....now I can account for why you haven't been actively posting much. The darkness does fucking suck....let's say fuck together like 100 times cuz it feels soooooo good. I won't say anything motivational right now cuz then you may want to smack me with a trout. But I will just let you know you are loved.

Maybe, just for now, you'll want to buy and wear this shirt. ;)

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l8hq9iGis81qzmqh7o1_500.jpg


Kim

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Sheena LaShay link
12/07/2010 10:00am

Living in positivity is so important and I LOVE that about you but you are also right to say we have to feel everything. It's not that you are dwelling and sulking in anger or frustration. You are acknowledging it and channeling it. That is the best way to go!

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Megan Monique
12/07/2010 11:03am

Kim- that T-shirt was awesome. I would never wear it in public. But it would be a great shirt to have to wear on an angry day around the house.

Thanks for passing up the inspirational talk today. To be honest, I feel totally inspired in the midst of all of this. I feel good EXPERIENCING all of these emotions and looking at what there is to learn from them.

LOVE to you,
Megan

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Megan Monique link
12/07/2010 11:04am

Thanks so much Sheena,
For your endless words of love & trust. & for placing me in your bubble of sacred sisterhood. I am honored.

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Stacey link
12/07/2010 5:08pm

Hey darlin',

I just want you to know that I see and hear and LOVE you. Thanks for letting us know you are rocking the challenging stuff as well as the bliss. Much love to you, s

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Pattie link
12/07/2010 5:10pm

I find anger to be incredibly empowering. It's how I survived a very very messy break up a couple of years ago. I do realize, however, that I tend to always go toward anger more than any other emotion. There is a time and place for anger, and it looks like you found it. Anger can be useful, just be careful not to get lost in it like I do. But I don't think you will.

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Megz
12/07/2010 8:09pm

Dear Megan,

Now I know what had me worried for you.. you hadn't really taken it out and were trying to probably convince me ,and in the process yourself, that you were fine and that it hadn't impacted you. I am still glad that you are taking the anger out and won't be suffering the heartburn or coughing the way I do.

And by the way, I found a wonderful video which allows you to Fuck the World the way you like it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6D7rWLzloOI

Luv (loads of it),
Megz
{{{{{{{{{{HUG))))))))))))))

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Maya Hanley link
12/08/2010 5:33am

Hi Megan,

good for you for posting this and telling us what's really going on for you. I have been in your place and I know how you feel. It's important to express what you feel.

Also, you don't need Landmark. I have done the first and second course and, while I got some benefit from it, looking back years later, it is very much a hyped up thing and very temporary in its benefits unless you decide to get sucked into its cult-like arms. Don't waste your time - you already have and know what you need right now. You're awesome.(Not to mention the fact that they'd pressure you into getting rid of your pink hair!)

Sorry you are not with Owning Pink anymore (or are you?). You're amazing and always make me smile.

The right place will appear for you soon. Don't worry.

Love and Light,
Maya

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shannon link
12/10/2010 6:29am

you are so beautiful.

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