What It Means To Be Transparent & Vulnerable 12/07/2010
I am tired of hiding behind my computer screen. I have been honest with where I am at, but not completely transparent or vulnerable.
After my intuitive reading yesterday with Lori-Lyn I felt soft, safe, watched over & empowered. I felt more in touch with my feminine energy than my masculine; which was a change from the past week.
After the house I am renting went into foreclosure & the decision was made that Owning Pink & I would go our separate ways (financially,) I moved into my masculine energy.
I got bitchy. Tough. Irritable. I held everything inside until I couldn't anymore.
Last Saturday & Sunday I had a Landmark Education course that I was attending. I never made it to Sunday.
By dinner on Saturday night, I felt as though my cup was more than over flowing- it was flooding everything around me.
I decided to leave the course (not so easy for me to do.) I drove home & got vulnerable. I got honest with a good friend who would listen to me cry. I hugged Brawn & I got pissed off.
It was the first time I had allowed myself to be angry over the situation. The first time I was able to say, 'yes- I know that all of this is happening so that something better can come my way. I trust that. However- THIS STILL FUCKING SUCKS!'
Residing in positive thinking is beautiful. It allows you to see the light in everything. BUT, it is still important to really FEEL & express all of the shadows that exist within.
Releasing those fears is the easiest way to rid yourself of them completely. & conversation is one of the best methods of cleansing.
Yesterday Brawn & I drove up & down every street in Ennis looking at houses for rent. I have a good idea of what I want & what I don’t want now.
The amount of time we have to move out of this house is still up in the air & from what I understand- my landlord is still trying to ‘fix it.’ But today is the day of foreclosure- we shall see.
But something tells me I need to take matters into my own hands & move to a location where the security & state of being is at its best.
In A Place Of Complete Honesty,
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