We did an exercise where we named a person we admired & have respect for; a hero of sorts. We listed the qualities of that person we fancied & picked which ones were the easiest & the hardest to own. For the easiest I chose selfishness. I admire being selfish because I think it takes a balance of selflessness & selfish to maintain a healthy lifestyle. For the hardest I picked certainty.
It seems my entire life has been a phase of jumping & leaping from one thing to the next never being completely certain of whether or not it will "stick"
Next we picked a villain in our life. Someone who irritates us & at times can be hard to get along with. We had to do the same exercise as before. The hardest quality for me to own from my villain was self pity. The easiest was ironically, selfishness.
We had to look at these qualities from the hero & the villain & acknowledge that what we can admire & desire to obtain from others already exists within ourselves. It was empowering to know that I DO have these qualities already. They might not be expanded to their fullest or minimized as much as I would like, but they do exist. By knowing that what I desire to have is already within me gives me power to allow it to blossom or deminsh. It is my choice.
It also allowed me room to connect with my villain and hero on a deeper level, realizing we are one in the same.