Relationships 101: Assumptions Kill The Love 11/22/2011
It's been a while since I have written a relationships 101 post. I suppose I've had other things on my mind.
Last night The Mister and I had a video Skype chat (he's out of town).
It wasn't romantic although parts of it were sweet. It was, however, heartfelt, honest and kind of brutal at times.
We have been together for a little over 3 years now. We got married in June 2011 - it was the most magical day of my life.
I forget sometimes, that I don't know everything about him.
I act like I know what he is thinking by an expression on his face that then provokes a reaction from within me. And yes, sometimes those assumptions are correct, but sometimes they aren't.
When my assumptions are incorrect a disconnect occurs in our communication.
I get angry and righteous. He gets irritated and righteous. And then, life becomes not so magical and a great big pain in my butt. In our butts.
If our (3 hour) conversation last night taught me anything it was that there is still a lot to learn about my husband.
I don't know everything and generally, my assumptions are incorrect. Especially during Mercury Retrograde.
There is a habit The Mister has of coming into my office while I am working and asking me "What are you doing?” - nine times out of ten I reply "I'm on the computer."
It was my irritating answer to an irritating question.
Only, from his perspective, he wasn't asking me that to be irritating. It was his way of asking whether or not I had time in my day for him.
My assumption lead me to believe he was moving from a space of carelessness about the work that I do, when in all actuality, he was moving from a space of love. Of wanting to share his love with me.
Needless to say I took a moment on the call last night to feel like a total Bitch.
I still kind of feel that way this morning.
But the brighter side of things is that question that so often ruined my "in the zone" moment while working will now shine a light on my day.
No longer will I hear an irritating question. Instead, I will hear, "hey babe, I love you."
And that will make all the difference.
I invite you to look at your relationships. Where are you making assumptions about others thoughts or actions? What effect is it having on you?
I have a whole library of Relationship 101 posts if you feel your relationships need some polishing.
If you feel you need a more intimate, one on one experience of relationship renewal, check out my Soul Sessions.
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